"How do you say it . . . Kaa . . . Kaa . . .Naaa"

Written on January 9th

Dear Friends,                                       

      We have now spent 18 days in Wisconsin….the first 12 at Daniel’s parents house in McFarland, WI and the last 6 in a temporary house here in Kaukauna, WI (5 miles east of Appleton and one of the Fox Cities).  It took me the last 6 days to learn how to pronounce the city, “Ka- kon-na”…. J.  The house belongs to a gracious family who is letting us stay in their vacant home here in Kaukauna until we can find a house we want to buy in Appleton or until this place sells.  It has been on the market for 3 years with no bites, we thought another 3 to 6 months was a sure thing….hehehe…right!  We have had two showings in the first 3 days we were here!!!  That brought my unpacking to a screeching halt, let me tell you!  We haven’t heard anything yet, but we do know we have been guaranteed at least another month here before we have to leave if it sells.  I would say I have unpacked about 65 percent of our stuff.  As the British say, “oe!” There is a house we are very interested in and will be starting the process this week of putting down an offer on it.  Both Daniel and myself are a little wary about finding “that perfect house” after only 6 days of really looking, but we know what we like and we are quick decision makers even without the sudden fire under our butts to find a place. I have had my eye on this house since last summer.  It is super cute and full of character!  I would take character and uniqueness over big any day.  Now I am not saying this house isn’t beautiful because it is! There are 4 bedrooms, a study, a functional basement, big yard, newly redone kitchen, a new roof and it’s in a great neighborhood.  I have taken many deep breaths and given this possibility to God as I think about it over and over.  Our realtor made a comment about how surprised he was that it is still available.  I wanted to smile and say, “Well, God was saving it for us, of course!”  Now, it might not work out and if that is the case I will have a good cry and move on.  If God can change my heart towards church planting (and to do it in a state where I want to go bed wearing a sweater every night because I am so darn cold) then he can give us a wonderful house.

      Now to switch gears on you (Sigh)….I have gotten many questions as to how I am doing with all the changes.  I must now confess . . . it is hard.  Change like this always strips me and leaves me feel so alone and out of place… (well, I am literally “out of place”, but you know what I mean).  I have been on auto pilot because there was too much to do, too much to pack and too many details to figure out for me to realize all the change around me.  Now that the dust has settled and we are unpacked…well sort-of, its finally hit that we are in a new place, left our friends in Colorado and are starting a new church.  Being pregnant hasn’t helped matters.  All this doesn’t surprise me when I think about what the last few months have been like.  I had two sweet women at Jacob’s Well (church we are attending in Green Bay until we are up and running) today affirm my feelings. They too had a hard time moving here.  They encouraged me to give myself grace and time to grieve.  I want to, but I see Daniel all happy and excited to be here and I want that too!  Ahh, to be a man where hormones don’t run your day to day life! 

        The girls are doing well.  Ellie is like her daddy and seems totally fine and excited about the prospect of finding lots of frogs and toads this coming summer.  Morgan is more like me and has been more emotional (if you can imagine that) and missing Aunt Jenna very much.  Caroline….well, as long as she has music to dance to and someone to watch her while she dances life is good.  Ellie starts at her new school tomorrow and is really excited so keep her transition in your prayers.

        Thank you for your prayers and for the way you all love our family.  Even in the midst of all this change and uncertainty I know God has called us here and that is a BIG comfort!  Oh, I do need to say that God has gently reminded me He is still here even while I wrote this.  A sweet friend from Appleton just called me to encourage me during this hard time.  Thank you, Lord!

"Are we Planting the Church tonight?" - Chapter 3



Erin and Stephen



Greetings friends from the beautiful and cold Midwest!

The 26 foot Penske

After about two weeks of intense packing and lots and lots of tears we left our home for the last nine years (that rhymes)! The three girls, my wonderful 21 year old brother, Stephen and myself piled into the Pacifica; while Daniel and Brad (wonderful family friend) drove the 26 foot Penske packed to brim with all our worldly possessions (there was a lot of grumbling by my husband as to how much stuff we have).  We pulled out at 6:30am, Monday December 19^th.  Morgan pipes up from the dark back seat, “Mom, are we planting the church tonight?” Ah, if it were only that easy, Morgan.  We then made a much needed stop at Starbucks by the Pacifica crew and then with hot drinks in hand we hit interstate 76/80 east for the next 800 miles.  About an hour into traveling I made my brother pull the car over  on the interstate so I could pick up a Colorado tumbleweed to take to WI with me!!  Then back in the road we went!  I want to send thanks out to several families in our beloved Rocky Mountain Pres Church the Breed girls were sitting pretty with special travel boxes and bags full of goodies and fun toys to keep them entertained for the next 16 hours.  Stephen and I passed the hours by listening to music, talking and texting goofy videos of ourselves to the Penske crew who would send one back and so on.  I also made Stephen stop by  the side of the interstate so I could pick up a tumbleweed to take to WI!! The biggest surprise on our hours of travel was how well Caroline did.  I think her one year birthday a week before gave her a sense of maturity so she didn’t feel the need to have any crying fits during either day of travel….but it was probably God’s merciful hand on my baby girl.  We stopped in Lincoln, NE for the night and all the men played Marco-Polo and Chase with the girls in the pool wearing them out.   We picked up the next morning and though the day went fine we were all a little wilted by the time we pulled up to Daniel’s parent’s house around 6:00pm but safe . . . thank you for your prayers.  The next day was just as crazy for Daniel, Brad, Stephen and many others.  They all took the truck north to our temporary place of residence and unloaded it (God bless each of them).  Then they came back dropping Brad at the airport in Milwaukee. 

 The next few days were full of Christmas and family.  It is now Dec 26^th and I am thoroughly wiped out!  I have been sick with a sinus infection and….(drum roll please) I am pregnant with our fourth little Breed!!!  It was a bit of a shock, but I am now 13 weeks along and I am feeling better.   The baby is due June 30^th.

So what now?  That’s a good question!  We will use the next few months to get a feel for our surroundings in Appleton, touch base with a core group of people friends already established there and get settled to start this church plant.  It will take time, patience and lots and lots of prayer!   Keep in touch!  We miss you, Colorado!

Waiting . . . Chapter 2

Well my friends, the fundraisers have happened and almost all the letters have been sent or given out....now comes the hard part....waiting and doubting.  Waiting for God to bring in the financial support we need to make this church planting dream a reality and doubting that He will come through.  It is so easy to be excited and optimistic in the beginning when all your cards haven't been played.  When you think you still have a small bit of control over this “game” or an ace up your sleeve.  Now that our cards have been shown and our message has been communicated we wonder, was it enough?  Maybe we should have worded the letter differently or maybe if we had been more bold in our fundraising events . . . but we have to let it go.  I have to let it go.  I am a typical woman; I like my control and I am not very patient, but as my sister told me last night it is out of our hands.  There is truly nothing more we can do.  We have taken our family for a running leap off a cliff just trusting God has a safety net waiting for us!  I think we are nuts….truly!  J

It has been be very humbling for me and for Daniel during the last few weeks as he has gone out almost daily to ask for support from his peers.  It can’t be easy to do that.  I feel like a very bright light has been shown on me and my humanity.  I feel so utterly unworthy for this!  I sat in the tub tonight (my nightly routine to detox from the day) listening to some of my favorite hymns and found myself trying to think of all the skills, gifts or whatever that would have made God “pick” me to start a church in his name….yeah…lets just say it was very pathetic!  Everything I thought of that could benefit the cause was tainted with ME and my weaknesses!  I was a bit shocked when I realized I really wasn’t bringing anything to this.  If God wants to use  me to build His kingdom then I am going to be on the front row with everyone else to witness how He will!  “Oh Erin, you don’t give yourself enough credit…”  Really?  I ask you to put yourself in my shoes. What gifts and skills do you have that are always at the ready, you have energy to pursue at all times, and you utilize with a pure heart?  If there is something I am learning through this process it is that even my best gifts in which I put forward to build God’s Kingdom are tainted by my limits as a person. Yes, very deep thinking for tub soaking!!! 

So, we continue to wait on God to bring us the support we need.  I know I will look back and think this was a great growing time, but being in it now really hurts.  Take care and I will post again soon!!

Erin

The Start of it all - Chapter 1

My first posting…save this, folks.  I feel like we are getting ready to set out to discover a new world.  I have no idea if we will hit gold or fail miserably, but I asked for adventure in this life and God is handing a big one to us now!  I still can’t believe we are going to be heading off to plant a church!  It sounds so big and I don’t feel ready…but who is ever ready for anything really.  I remember when we found out we were pregnant with Ellie three years too early for our timeline.  We weren’t ready for a baby in every way the world thinks you should be, but God took care of us then and she is a thriving 7 years later!  This feels a bit like that.  How humbling it was to be handed a precious 7 pound baby girl on loan from God who we are suppose to raise?  Talk about terrifying!  Now God is calling us to Appleton, WI to start a church and share the gospel.  Who are we to do this?  What makes us qualified?  Maybe one day I will have an answer to that, but don’t expect to see it in any posting in the near future!! This journey is just as much of a gospel lesson for us as it will be for our future church. 

I look forward to sharing this journey with you during the next years.  I will say now that I tend to be an open book.  You won’t get a blog about how wonderful everything is when it isn’t.  I have a feeling this is going to be very testing and trying at times, BUT I also know that God gleans the most “fruit” from us when we are on our knees before him.  So, you will be hearing about the good times and the hard times.  It will be a wonderful support to know you are all entering into this with us.  I will keep you posted from now on and the progress of getting ready to move, fund raising, fun stories of the girls and the highs and lows of it all!  God bless each one of you!

Much love,
Erin

P.S.   Please look to the right to see our needs and how you can pray for us.  We would love to get your thoughts and comments below.