4 Girls

Dear Family and Friends,

                Well, here I am 7 weeks after the birth of our fourth little girlie!  Miss Claire is cute as ever and we are doing great…that’s what I’m supposed to say, right? J!  I mean…I don’t really sleep anymore or remember anyone’s names.  Sometimes I find the milk in the cabinet and put diaper cream on my toothbrush, but hey…baby and mom are doing fine!!!  Four girls, people…we have four girls!!! I am most certainly overwhelmed and though my cup truly runneth over with blessings I do find myself rocking in a corner sometimes telling God that it’s way too much; Has given me too much?  These precious little lives entrusted to Daniel and me. I feel super unworthy.  There was a time about two and a half years ago when we were struggling to have another baby.  We had been trying to get pregnant for quite some time and my thinking got so bad that I thought that maybe I had already messed my first two kids so much that God didn’t want to entrust another life to me.  I knew in my heart that was a lie, but at the time I believed the lie…now look at me!  I wonder what I would think if myself from two and a half years ago could talk to the me now?  I am trying to let all my expectations go and just focus on the now, this moment.  The laundry and cleaning will have to wait (though that is SUPER hard for me to do).  There is a poem my mom used to quote to me when she rocked me when I was little. “Cleaning and scrubbing can wait this tomorrow. Babies grow up we have learned to our sorrow. So quiet down cobwebs and dust go to sleep.  I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.” So, I am trying to put this poem into action and when it gets too much I take Claire for a walk up and down the sidewalk in front of our house.  Last night I did just that around 9pm and as I walked I heard the most lovely violin music playing from across the street.  I could tell it was live and not a recording, but I couldn’t see where it was coming from. It was so beautifully haunting.  I felt such a rush of gratitude to my Lord for that little gift of music and I prayed for the hands who played it.  Claire stopped crying and we listened until she feel asleep.

Ellie, Morgan, Caroline, and Stephen chillin' on the hammock

                I was very blessed during the month of July and August to have back to back help come to visit.  First, my dear sister Megan came the first week in July.  She not only helped with all the kids, but cooked for me, cleaned for me, took me shopping and even got Claire on a good eat/wake/sleep schedule.  She saw the needs before I even voiced them.  Thank you my precious sister!  After Megan came there was Christie Sidelko (dear friend from CO)!  She stayed for a full ten days (bless you, my dear)!  She was on the ball and took care of the three older girls so I could focus on Claire.  She loved my kids so well that even Caroline started to settle into the fact that everything was going to be ok.  After one week she even got me off my butt to do a little low impact Zumba!  Then came my oldest friend from Georgia, Beth (we have been friends since 3^rd grade)!  We had a great time laughing and talking till the wee hours of the morning.  She was such an encouragement to me.  Next, my little brother Stephen came up!  We all packed up and went to our cabin in upper Michigan.  Uncle Stephen is so great with all the girls! He is gentle, patient and doesn’t mind when the three older ones climb up onto the hammock with him!  He is going to make a wonderful father one day.  Then last but not least my other sister Jenna and her boyfriend Armando came for a whole week!  It was so good to see them and we had a full week of fun activities, great talks and just plain good times!  What a bless you all are to me!  I love you dearly!

                So, besides the general craziness this season of life is for me I can still say I am a blessed women!  The support system I have is a solid and a loving one and I must mention my most valuable ally and support in my life…my Daniel.  This is a man who loves me unconditional and who bares with me during this time when I am so tired and my self-image is at a low.  He still calls me beautiful and I know he means it.  We celebrated our eleventh year of marriage this month and what a ride these eleven years have been.  Baby, you are still the best thing that has ever happened to me.  Thank you for loving me so much and always pointing me to my Savior.

                Thank you for all your prayers and thoughts over these last months.  This pregnancy was a hard one, but now our Claire is here – praise the Lord!!  I can’t wait to keep you all updated on her growth.  May the Lord bless you all!

Erin